The show’s over. Next!
If only life were that easy.
The reality is that you want to know who you’re dealing with…
…because the last copywriter you hired was a nightmare, right?
Does any of this ring a bell?
- You didn’t get your copy on time
- The copywriter was a prima donna
- You chose to train a supposedly “expert copywriter”
And then if you were [blankety blank] enough to train a copywriter. He/she left as soon he/she got good to work for someone else.
Isn’t that the same f-ing story?
You can’t find a good copywriter within your pay range.
So, you hire someone with “potential.”
And then that turns into a disaster with missed deadlines, outrageous demands, whining, crying, M.I.A., ghosting, …and all the other shit you gotta deal with.
Have you posted a job somewhere and just realized it’s not worth it?
Let me ask you if it sounds anything like this:
“Needed: A direct response copywriter who knows their way around persuasive copy. We need a direct response copywriter who can:
- Build relationships
- Adhere to strict deadlines
- Work independently and with others
- Deliver work without errors or mistakes
- Write a lot of copy quickly
- Improvise, pivot, and ad-lib as necessary
- Anticipate marketing and copywriting needs
- Work well with Creative Director, Sales Manager, and Web Manager
Who is good at:
- Creating avatars
- Short copy…
- …and—believe it or not—long copy
- Researching subject matter and competitors
- Campaign messaging
- Testing variations
- Understanding audiences’ motivations
Who can handle:
- Fast-paced environment
- Editing and rewriting copy from other team members
- Feedback (without crying)
- Plenty of work
- Collaborating with designers and other key personnel
- High standards
- Integrity and ethical standards
- A “can-do” attitude
- Big ideas
- Stellar attention to detail
- A self-starter
- A creative thinker
- A team player who offers insight and ideas
- Naturally curious
- Empathetic and see the world through others’ eyes
- An extraordinary writer
- Disciplined to check his/her work
Am I guilty of any or all of those?
I wouldn’t have taken the time to write them down if I weren’t.
It’s a tall order. However, this what I have been delivering to my clients for the past several years. (I’m not giving an exact number because I’m not sure exactly when I started direct response copywriting).
Whenever you post a job listing, you get thousands of replies from every corner of the world. You have everyone from journalists to web designers applying for your direct response copywriting job. Am I right, or am I right?
Often, you must choose between shit… or shit with shit sauce. It’s enough to pull your hair out!
I’m not going to go through the typical direct-response-copywriter bit about how awful your life is right now. You either know it, or you don’t.
No sense in me reminding you that good direct response copywriters don’t grow on trees and that your life is shitty until you find one.
I’m just gonna come right out and say it: The Solution to your woes is to call me to see if we are a good match. During our call you can expect this from me:
A full breakdown of my background. Where I’ve been. Whom I worked for. Who fired me (actually, I will conveniently leave this out). What I’ve been doing. My copywriting process. How I work and play with others…and a bunch of other stuff.
It will be well worth it. It beats looking at thousands of resumes from people who aren’t direct response copywriters.
So how good am I as a direct response copywriter? Well, the answer is kind of baked into the question. If you respond to this ad, you will have your answer. If you don’t respond, then there are a dozen reasons why, but it doesn’t mean I’m not a good copywriter. See how that works out nicely for me?
If you contact me at AshWaechter@hotmail.com, I will send you my resume and a bunch of (relevant) samples. You can then be the final judge.
By calling me, you won’t have to read 100 billion resumes. You won’t have to talk to a dozen knuckleheads. (Hopefully, I’m not one of them. Maybe, I am. Anyway, you get my point.)
You won’t have to scratch your head and wonder if you picked the wrong person to call. Here, it’s easy. It’s just me.
Sure, I’ll give you a few testimonials:
“Ash was instrumental in getting our sales message focused, so it was on target, inspiring, and professional. He was easy to work with, and his knowledge and expertise in this area is unique and refreshing. I highly recommend using Ash for your sales pages, sales e-mails, or any other sales message for your product and services.” – Hans Hanson, GetCollegeRight.com
“I came out of the advertising business, and I could tell Ash was a great copywriter when I first read his work. My suspicions were confirmed when I retained him for an important project. He is a real value if you need powerful copy. I recommend him.”—Mark Sanborn, Leadership Keynote Speaker & Best-Selling Author
“Ash was contracted to work on many eLearning modules for the School of Social Work at UNC. I couldn’t be happier with the results I got from Ash. He was diligent, meticulous, and delivered everything on time or even earlier than expected. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in developing these eLearning modules. No job was too big or too small to work. He took pride in every project I gave him.” — John Anderson, eLearning Developer, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
I am in the prime position to be a full-time remote direct response copywriting position at a company that—conveniently enough—wants a full-time remote direct response copywriter. Sounds reasonable, right?
My salary requirements are in the normal range. Not too little, and not too much. I’m not asking for millions of dollars, but I’m not working for peanuts either.
A lot of it depends on all the extra benefits. No benefits, then the salary would be more. Lots of benefits, then the salary would less. Sounds fair, right?
If you contact me, I won’t be evasive. No ghosting, no runarounds, no phone tag, no bullshit. Just pure information download. I will give you the straight dope. Everything you ever wanted to know about a good direct response copywriter. I will answer without hesitation… without “uhms,” hiccups, coughs, burps, gas, or “That’s not my department.” Just the facts without wasting your time.
Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. You could call me at (203) 209-5284, but I won’t answer my phone. However, I will call you back if you leave a message. Also, texting is a surefire winner!
Do This Now
You won’t get another chance. And here’s the reason why:
- Either this ad totally sucks, and no one is buying. Therefore, it’s coming down.
- Or, this ad totally rocks the house, and someone bought. Therefore, why would I keep advertising?
Don’t hesitate on this. If you do, then you are relegated to reading 100 billion resumes. Or dealing with the same problems you’ve been dealing with for all this time (insert your choice: days, weeks, years).
One more thing…
Contact me at email@example.com.
You could call me at (203)209-5284, but, as mentioned earlier, I won’t answer my phone—too many absurd calls from insurance adjusters.
Feel free to leave me a message. That I will respond to with delight.
Text me if you want. I answer those immediately.
Ash Waechter (rhymes with Hector Cash Register).
P.S. I’ve also written two books about direct response copywriting and direct marketing. You can check them out here: https://www.amazon.com/Ash-Waechter/e/B07Q3HBJ92
I know, I know… I’m only supposed to have one call to action, but if you haven’t feverishly typed up an email to me by now, I should at least hawk a book or two, right?